If you’re planning on opening a pizza parlor, for the love of mozzarella, please don’t name it JOE’S.
Or FAMOUS JOE’S PIZZA.
Or FAMOUS JOE’S ORIGINAL PIZZA.
Or FAMOUS JOE’S ORIGINAL CARMINE STREET PIZZA.
Or anything else with JOE. Or any other Italian or quasi-Italian name. Or Heinrich, for that matter. Just no names. Whether it’s your name or not.
Because ORIGINAL is unoriginal. And FAMOUS . . . do I really have to explain why that should never appear in a trademark?*
And because there are already plenty of people fighting over the rights to those names and banal words. Presumably, you’re opening a pizza place because you want to make pizza and/or money. If you use those words, all you’re gonna make are trips to the courthouse and payments to your lawyer.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
- Don’t use your name (or any other name) as your trademark.
- Don’t use lame words like WONDERFUL or TASTY or EXPRESS or BEST or FRESH or HOT or PRIME or GREATEST. No matter how you spell it.
- Don’t use the name of the street you’re on, or the neighborhood, or the city or BIG APPLE or PIKES PEAK or BAY AREA.
The whole point of a trademark is to distinguish your business from other businesses so your customers will remember you and be able to tell their friends.** If you pick words that everyone else is using, that will NOT work.
Thanks for listening. I feel better now.
*Because places that are famous don’t put that in their name.
**I found this great pizza place. It’s called Joe’s. No not that Joe’s. This one’s on Spring between Mott and Elizabeth. No, not that one either. That one’s on Prince between Broadway and Mulberry. Yeah, that one. Oh, it closed already. I wonder why?